Painis Cupcake
Painis Cupcake (formerly Penis Cupcake) is a famous fictional character created by a YouTube user named RubberFruit. He appears to be a Soldier from Team Fortress 2 who feeds on those who enter his home and moves with pump-action shotgun cocking noises. His eyes, where on Soldiers are usually covered by their helmet, are always shown below it. Bio What is known about him is that he is not at all civilized and is beyond human. Upon confronting his prey he will honorably introduce himself as "I am Painis Cupcake. I will eat you." Followed by an ominous and borderline disturbing smile. He will rarely say "Your painis is mine, do you understand that?". Painis will then proceed to rip his prey to shreds and then devour their remains, in which he usually does so succesfully. When a mysterious sneak-like music plays, this is an indication that he is around; while in pursuit of prey, the music will change into a chasing scene theme. These songs typically come from the soundtrack of Donkey Kong 64. His main musical theme is "Puzzles in the Caves" and his Attack theme is "Demon Resident Mine Cart". Although he mostly? hunts people? down and when he finds someone he just eats them(It's commonly mistaken but painis isn't really evil, he's just hungry), there have been instances of him being friendly, especially when said person offers him something, like Kill Scout and Solgineer did - not to mention that Polite Spy made a friendship with him after telling him he did a "fine job murdering people"; this means Painis can easily be a good guy to other TF2 freaks. It is also said that he was last seen residing with his mother, RariFruit. Abilities Painis Cupcake has exhibited a wide variety of bizarre but strong powers, most of which have been used in battle. These include: *Formidable strength, being able to grab someone and throw him/her at a wall, which will result in the victim to be broken into pieces. His jaws can pierce flesh, bones and armor. *Great defenses, able to resist powerful blows. *A Self-Übercharge which boost his Attack/Defense to something even greater. *Parthenogenic reproduction. *Launching shovels from his mouth at high speeds, which are capable of beheading. Usually very accurate. *Hell Scream, a powerful and scary sonic attack that can critically injure (if not kill) Snyphurr and send Vagineer blasting off and exploding. *Manage to get more powerful if he survives to another monster. *Being angry or wanting to seek revenge will let Painis use his powers to their full potential. *While his speed walking is the same as the average Soldier, Painis Cupcake can slide around the ground at great speed while making his characteristic shotgun-cocking noises. Faults Painis Cupcake's rather attention-garnering methods and obvious musical cues have made him an easy Monster to avoid encountering altogether. If he is encountered, he can sometimes be evaded with sufficient effort due to having no abilities that can make him any faster or more agile than he always is, unless he decides to slide. He still has a tendency to find his prey eventually. Apparently, when Painis Cupcake isn't on guard, his defense decreases significantly- Christian Brutal Sniper was able to cut his head off when Painis wasn't paying attention to him, but the victim CBS had tied. In addition, Dic Soupcan was also able to dismember him in Soupcans thanks to Painis believing he had won after beheading him. Very few have ever been able to defeat Painis; Seeman has been shown to have fared well against him at least once thanks to the help of his assistant Seeldier. As mentioned earlier, Dic Soupcan has effectively beaten him as well athough thanks to his surprise attack, and one of his known encounters are with Weaselcake who got electrocuted by him. These instances have resulted in Painis Cupcake seeking revenge. And also according to this YouTube video named "Why Painis Cupcake never eats Medic's" by Chasolk , it was revealed that Painis' ubercharger can be destroyed by knifing him on the stomach, disabling his self-uber, and his strength can be drained with an Übersaw, making him vunerable and easy to kill temporarily that is. Howewer, due to his regenerative and accurate shovel launching powers, the Medic threat is easily eliminated. This weakness is unnofficial and it hasn't been confirmed. Painis Cupcake once got defeated by Kolossal Kirov, without KK having to do any effort at all. Even if he got self-ubered, Kirov simply punched him back to his lair. This might prove "primitive" monsters/freaks are another of Painis Cupcake's weaknesses. Painis Cupcake is also vulnerable to Kami, who was able to drain Paini's ubercharge by grabbing on to him and giving it to herself. She then kicked Painis across 2Fort. Painis later returned and said "You were good Kami, real good, maybe even the best. I will not eat you." he than befriended her and they ate sandviches together. Painis Cupcake is extremely vunerable to Eppaljeck, and nearly cannot defeat it/her. Since Eppaljeck is very brutal, Painis Cupcake will die before he can even get the chance to attack. He even dies before he could finish his opening lines. If someone turns off his main theme, he will freeze and not do anything. It is unknown how to unfreeze him. Origin The origin of Painis Cupcake is a mystery, but five YouTube videos give supposed theories to how he came to be. Theory 1 Painis Cupcake was simply just a soldier who masturbated to too much pornography and ripped his painis off, driving him insane and cannibalistic. Theory 2 "The Soldier had a fateful encounter with fellow famous monster Vagineer who accidentally inhaled vials of HIV, and spat the liquid into Soldier's blood stream. One user summed up this affect on Soldier by saying this: "When Vagineer juices are introduced to HIV, the virus takes on mutagenic properties; if introduced to the human bloodstream, grotesque changes take place, the muscle mass is effectively doubled, increasing strength and punishment handling. The bones and joints click under pressure of mass every time the victim moves. And finally, the victim may be driven insane and cannibalistic." Theory 3 The Soldier was given an objective to unfroze the three objects in the unknown dirty liquid but the Demoman pushed the Soldier to the unknown dirty liquid. Then, later the Engineer heard the voice of the Soldier and later he saw the Soldier and helped him. He was turned to a mad cannibal after hearing the words by the Engineer: "Makin' bacon". Then he killed the Engineer and he named himself as "Painis Cupcake". Theory 4 Painis Cupcake might have been a RED soldier who was beaten to death outside the battlefield, disallowing his ability to respawn afterwards like everyone else on the team. Seeing as the company couldn't afford to lose one of their most experienced mercenaries, Redmond Mann might have ordered the engineer to resurrect him and modify him. The engineer did succeed in reviving him, but his brain was too severely damaged by the attack, thus the process drove him insane and cannibalistic. His introductory statement might have been pieced together from the last things he said to his attacker(s): "I am going to claw my way down your throat and tear out your very soul! "Pain is weakness leaving the body!" "C'mere, '''Cupcake!'' "'''I will eat you'r ribs! I will eat them up!"'' The last of these statements is probably the most vivid concept to the resurrected soldier, only more emphasized when people ridicule him. Theory 5 An more realistic theory is the one shown on the ''''Painis Island' incoming comics. Painis was a normal RED Soldier who was infected with 'Australium', a powerful, radioactive, metal-like mineral that makes anyone exposed to it look like a zombie. Unfortunately, Painis absorbed too much of the radiation, turning him into an insane, cannibalistic monster that murdered almost everyone in 2Fort. After the United States Army captured him a few hours later, they decided to exile him to an abandoned island near Hawaii. 50 years later, a group of teenagers entered the island without permission, where they were being hunted down by Painis, and attempted to escape. Painis Cupcake Footage Exclusive footage of painis cupcake, you might wanna turn up your volume this video is quiet for some reason. Relations Throughout his life, Painis found allies and enemies alike, here are some of them: *Family: **Rubberfruit (mother) **Ainum (sister) **Ainis Cupcake (brother) **Painis Pancake (son) **Ainis Cupcake's wife (sister-in-law) **Ainis Cupcake's son (nephew) **Painis Men (possible relatives) *Friends/Allies: **RED Vagineer **Scunt **Polite Spy **Fratman **Solgineer **Intelligent Heavy and(possibly)Spyper **Kami **RariFruit **Piss Cakehole *Enemies: **BLU Vagineer and Snyphurr **Dic Soupcan **Seeman and Seeldier **Weaselcake **Christian Brutal Sniper **Heavydile **Mentlegen Pie **Assnick **Demopan and Imposter Painis Cupcake **Captain Demoman **Dirty Renamon **WeaselCake **Dangerous Bacon **Nuclear Scout **Fadkiller **Eppaljeck Similar Characters Possibly due to his parthenogenic replication abilities, there have been multiple versions of Painis Cupcake. Many of them simply wear different attire, some have mutated grotesquely, and others are characters with a similar origin, as well as alot of monsters that act similar, but take the form of other TF2 classes. These include: *Painis Cupcake's twin brother, Ainis Cupcake, who wears a BLU uniform instead of a RED one. *Painis Fruitcake: The embodiment of Painis' holiday spirit. *Robot Painis Cupcake: A cyber-version of Painis Cupcake. *The Painis Men: A mysterious group of Painises who can self-replicate upon injury. It is unknown wether or not they are Painis's kin or his subordinates. *SoupCock PorkPie: A Demoman who violently glues people to walls with their own blood and their pulpified body parts. *Painis Pancake: Strangely Painis Cupcake's son. A RED Scout. *Painis Vagicake: A very similar but exponentially more powerful Monster. Painis Cupcake was one of the three genetic "donors" that gave birth to VagiCake. *Mutant Painis Cupcake: A more dangerous variant of him. Mutant Painis Cupcake possess all the same powers of his previous form, but is hightened greatly. Whenever Mutant Painis Cupcake is near, a redish glow falls upon the area he's in. His voice has also changed to a more demonic-like tone and his theme and attack music have also been changed to more dark and terrifying songs. In some cases, he's known to let out an evil laugh before attacking his prey. Before he devours his victim(s), he recite his quote "I AM MUTANT PAINIS CUPCAKE! I WILL EAT YOU!!" his eyes then go completely blank and proceeds on with the slaughter, even more gruesome than before. How Painis Cupcake got mutated in the first place is currently unknown. *Painis Archiecake: A geek version of Painis that only kill characters from the Archie comic series. *Painis Touhoucake: Like Painis Archiecake, but kills and eats Touhou Project characters instead. *Painis Bronycake: Like the previous two, but kills and eats characters from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic instead. *Chinpoko Wonton: A Chinese rip-off of Painis that takes the form of the Rocket from Final Combat. *Cupcake Painis: A "reverse" form of Painis that forces people to swallow him whole. Once he is swallow, he causes his victim to inflate and explode. *Painis Jasoncake: A non-canon version of painis that temporarily entered Jason Voorhees´ corpse during laboratory tests, he could´t eat people as he had a Hockey Mask and didnt know how to retrive it. *Mannis Cupcake: A gay version of Painis that only eats men. Because of that, he completely ignores women and leaves them alone. *Ass Pancakes: A scout who smashes people with a rainbowy hammer. *I m pancakes: A similarly canniballistic scout who is notable for his improper build. *Pootis Sandvich: The exact same thing in heavy form. *Pinkis Cupcake: A pony version of the monster. Is friends with Molestia and possibly Eppaljeck. Also has an alternate form with It's own themes *Anus Painis: A GRN version of painis that just speaks 'anus'. *Painis Cup of Tea: A more civilized version of Painis that drinks tea. *Scaosh: A Scout-based character that wants people to eat him. Basically a "reverse" Painis Cupcake. *Mentlegen Pie: A Spy version of Painis. However, he tends to gut his victims instead of eat them. *Dangerous Painis Man: A Heavy version of Painis. *Maggot Cupcake: A "Worms" version of Painis. *Bonk Pancakes: A similarly insane scout who often travels alone, trying to regain his memory and slaughtering anyone in his way. *Porkgineer: A BLU Engineer that "porks" his victims and has Painis' self Ubercharge ability. *Painis Cake: A polite BLU version of Painis. *Painis Charger : An "Evolution" of the original Painis, like the Charger from Left 4 Dead 2, this Painis possess a great physical power and use it to charge the ennemy or punch him away. *Painis Vegicake: A vegetarian version that does not eat people. However, that does not stop him from brutally killing them anyway. *Beautyis Cupcake: The female equivalent of Painis. *Leather Cupcake: A BLK form of Painis that dual-wields a pair of Half-Zatoichis. Behaves a lot like Christian Brutal Sniper. He also seems to be immortal of some sorts and therefore cannot be killed. *Cyber Painis Cupcake: A cyborg version of Painis Cupcake. *Painis Babycake: An infant version of Painis Cupcake. Surprisingly powerful for his age and size. *Painis Botcake: A Mann vs. Machine robot version of Painis Cupcake built by Gray Mann but demolished by the original Painis in the video he starred in. See "Painis Cupcake meets Painis Botcake" for more. *Painis Pills: The Louis version of Painis Cupcake Quotes "I am Painis Cupcake. I will eat you." "You cannot hurt me! I am Painis Cupcake!"''' "Your painis is mine, do you understand that!" "I will eat your painis! Do you understand that?" "Painis in the anus!" "I will eat your painis" "If God had wanted you to live then he wouldn't have created ME!" "I am going to claw my way down your throat and eat your very painis!" "Num, num, num, num, num."' "You're sweet like cupcakes are sweet!" '' "Ribs sweet!" ''"Painis."''' "''I will eat them up!" ''"I will eat your nuts." "You were good son maybe even the best." Category:Characters Category:GMod Monsters Category:Anti-Heroes Category:Cannibals